Since being home from my mission to the Philippines I have been able to reconnect with friends and make many new ones. Being at Brigham Young University there always seems to be a pressure to be dating and to prepare to get married. I am definitely not opposed to dating or marriage in any way shape or form. Being able to discuss these matters with my best of friends I have found a fairly common irritation, and I will get back to that.
On a separate note, I love sports! Baseball, football, Frisbee, soccer, lacrosse, rugby, (in the Philippines rugby is something you sniff to get high... which I do not approve of) and basically any sport. I love games, competition and trying to improve myself , even in things that do not really matter; like croquette which is a great sport if you got the balls for it. (Hobbit reference). Anyway, my point being here is that games are fun, even applying rules and setting goals for real life in a game-like manner can be fun. However; there are certain facets of life where "playing the game" is not appropriate and even can be damaging. This week I started a new job as a salesman, which to be successful may seem to require "playing the game." I am learning quickly that I am not the kind of person that can lie or bend the truth to trick someone into buying something they do not need. I would rather earn less money than be dishonest. We all know the benefits of being honest, and working hard to earn a living.
I feel there are two different ways to try and improve ourselves to see benefits in our lives and even increase expectations we have for ourselves. First would be the quick fix way of trying to improve our abilities first, to throw on a smile and learn easy techniques that work in short term situations, but will have no real benefit in long term relationships with those that we work with. The second way would be to focus on our character and our core values as a human being. Honesty, integrity, hard work, discipline, and let the short term techniques be developed as part of our character. This is something that can be discussed in greater detail, but I think I will let you take time and think about it, and do not just think! Act! We all have ways to improve ourselves that have long term effects, and it is difficult and takes a lot of work. A quote that I really like by Emerson fits this topic well, "What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say."
There is a lot of truth in that statement. I tend to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. I am usually wrong in my expectations of people, some disappoint and some impress. I guess that is how life works.
So this is something I have been thinking of for quite some time, and I stumbled upon The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey, and he helped me put some of my thoughts together, I really recommend reading his book.
To tie my thoughts in together between dating and "playing the game" there is kind of an obvious thought that pops into people's minds. Dating is not about points, rebounds, free throws, impressing people by your short term techniques or always getting what you want. But it is about developing character, learning more about who you are, and developing lasting friendships. I cannot see how someone you care about so much can become your enemy, or someone that you never talk to or spend time with. I just suggest that we all take the time needed to strengthen our character, and do not look for the easy way out. Of course have fun, look for the right person, but do not be afraid of making great friends, developing yourself, and just becoming a better person through these long-term relationships, in a way that you could not do on your own.
