Munky

Several years ago, as a high school student in Seattle, I was one of 11 members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was often invited to parties in environments where I did not feel comfortable, and typically, I avoided these situations. Being born of goodly parents, I was taught to avoid sex, alcohol, drugs, and other immoral acts that were so common among my peers. It was easy to think less of people who did not live up to the same standards that I decided to live. Often those who lived different standards treated me like a lesser person and thought I was wasting my life by not going out and having fun while drinking and partying like the other students. I felt a little bit of a rift growing between my peers and me; even some of those who were my close friends were drifting further away. It was difficult to feel charity and love for people who were so different from me, especially those who treated me poorly.

As Christians, we have been counseled to “love one another; as [Christ has] loved [us]” (John 13:34). Along with other commandments from God, the commandment to have charity towards others can be difficult to follow, especially for those who dislike us individually or dislike the Church as a whole. Members of the Church have dealt with persecution at different levels in all dispensations and have been given a charge to do what is right no matter how difficult the circumstance. As Latter-day Saints, we have knowledge about the true and everlasting Gospel of Jesus Christ, with a covenant responsibility to follow the Savior’s example.

Learning from my own experiences as a member of the Church, and by observing the experiences of others, I have found that there are three difficulties we face in developing charity for others. First, we don’t truly understand the meanings of charity and how it is grown and shown; second, we don’t understand how to accept those with different beliefs and standards; third, we don’t understand that in cultivating charity, we must continually develop and maintain this “pure love of Christ” throughout our lives. Let us consider each of these difficulties.

What is Charity? Grow it and Show it.

To gain a knowledge of the meaning of the word charity, I find it helpful to understand it’s opposite. The Book of Mormon Prophet Nephi taught, “It must needs be that there was an opposition; even the forbidden fruit in opposition to the tree of life; the one being sweet and the other bitter”(2 Nephi 2:15). From the studies in the scriptures, we know that charity does not envy, it is not puffed up, it is not selfish and not easily provoked, and it does not think or rejoice in evil, and it will never fail (1 Cor. 13:4).This scripture shows that charity is more than our thoughts and actions; it is a deep-down characteristic of our souls. When we have charity, we are willing and ready to serve, to be patient, and to be compassionate and understanding to others. Charity encourages people to live together in love, not necessarily expecting the same in return, and makes the world a better place for us all.

Marvin J. Ashton taught:

“Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.”¹

We understand that charity is pure and selfless by nature, yet charity can be difficult to describe. In order for us to understand charity clearly, it must be felt and experienced. The Apostle Paul taught that if we have charity, the pure love of Christ, we will have good feelings towards all people. The Savior Jesus Christ is the perfect example of one who has charity for all mankind. Jesus Christ even loved those who committed horrendous sins, and condemned him to a brutal death. He forgave those who drove the nails through His hands and feet. Despite everything He suffered, He atoned for the sins of all mankind. He did not view His acts of service and kindness as a duty, but rather as a deep feeling of love for those He encountered. He always saw potential in others and did everything He could to make their lives better. Following the Savior’s example should be our goal as we work to show charity to others. When we are faced with decisions and choose to act in the way we believe Christ would act, we are being charitable. Striving to follow the example of Jesus Christ is the best way to develop charity. In order to do this, we need the guidance of the Holy Ghost. As we have the Spirit guiding us in our lives, we are able to gain a testimony of the love that Christ has for us. When we feel the Savior’s love, we begin to more fully understand our worth and potential in the eyes of God and also the worth and potential of all God’s children. We begin to see others differently through the eyes of charity.

Jesus Christ’s perfect example of love and charity can be best observed from His life and how He treated others. He did not limit His service to others based on their wealth, their relationship with Him, or even their righteousness. His pure love is illustrated many times throughout His ministry. While Christ was teaching people in the temple, the scribes and Pharisees brought a woman unto Him who had been taken in adultery. Those who had brought her thought that she should be stoned according to the law. In response, Jesus taught:

“He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her… And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more” (John 8:7-12).

The Savior rescued this woman from humiliation and almost certain death. He did not condemn her for the act she committed but did warn her to not sin again. This example shows charity without agreeing with the actions of the woman and while encouraging her, and us, to do better, to live a higher law.

Through the scriptures, the Lord also teaches us that we have a responsibly to serve with charity those who are in need, and he offers a warning against unrighteous judgment in choosing whom to serve. “Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just – But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent” (Mosiah 4:17-18).

The Gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us to treat everyone equally, regardless of our differences in belief, race, financial standing, education, and culture. We must learn to feel towards others as the Savior feels towards all of us.

I learned through experience, and through great teachers, that charity is a gift from God that He will grant unto His children who seek it. The Prophet Mormon taught, “Pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ” (Moroni 7:48). How inspiring is that? Similar to a missionary learning a new language or someone praying to gain a testimony of the Gospel, individuals can develop charity and love through the powerful tool of prayer. Each day we have the chance to pray for the gift of charity to grace our lives.

One man I know set a strong example for me as someone who has charity. He grew up in a traditional Catholic family and married the daughter of a local Mormon bishop. He has met with the missionaries for about 20 years and read through The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ multiple times. He is very open about his testimony of Jesus Christ and true to what he feels to be right. He believes that he has not yet retained a witness that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true, but he continues to learn and study because of his love for his family. In 2011, construction began of a new Latter-day Saint chapel that would house their ward. This man usually worked overtime to provide for his family, but he made time daily to help with the construction of the chapel during the year that it was built. Through his service, he has developed meaningful relationships and charity for members of the local ward. He serves them and is a true disciple of Jesus Christ.

As the pure love of Christ grows within us, as it did with this man, we begin to realize there are many opportunities in one’s life to exercise charity. President Monson taught, “Our opportunities to give of ourselves are indeed limitless, but they are also perishable. There are hearts to gladden. There are kind words to say. There are gifts to be given. There are deeds to be done. There are souls to be saved.”² We can compare these limitless opportunities to airplane travel. Planes have a high seating capacity and can take many passengers at once over great distances in a short amount of time. They can be the means of providing convenience and help to the passengers on board. The services provided through planes are also perishable. If the plane has empty seats on a flight, they go to waste. Passengers who could have been taken to their desired locations now have to wait for a new plane. Life is similar. We can use or waste chances to show charity. If we wait too long or fail to follow the promptings of the Spirit, we, too, can miss an opportunity to exercise charity for someone who needed it.

Going to high school in Seattle, I experienced times where it was difficult to have charity toward others. As mentioned previously, it can sometimes be easy to think less of people who do not share the same standards. I worked hard my whole life to follow the example of Jesus Christ, and I didn’t understand why this wasn’t important to others. At times I was more concerned with what others were doing than whether I was acting with charity. I missed opportunities to show concern and love for others in need. While I will not be able to get those opportunities back, my mistakes have taught me the importance of having charity. Joseph Smith taught, “The nearer we get to our heavenly Father, the more we are disposed to look with compassion on perishing souls; we feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders, and cast their sins behind our backs.”³ Simply knowing the principles of the Gospel is not enough. We must focus on following the example of the Savior so we will not condemn others based on their actions. Instead we will focus on living His teachings and helping others to understand the blessings of following Christ. We will “remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (D&C 18:10).

How do we learn to Accept People who are Different?

Each one of us has grown up under different circumstances and in different environments. Even as members of the Church, we have a wide range of differences and opinions. Those outside of our faith have an even wider variety of opinions and circumstances. Such varying worldviews can make it difficult to see similarities in each other and can create barriers to accepting those who are different than us, whether through belief, standards, race, religion, culture, or any other attributes.

Humans tend to group themselves based on beliefs, needs, and race almost automatically. This creates a system of ingroups and outgroups. A recent peer reviewed article in Science Magazine gave good examples:

“The targets of outgroup prejudice vary from culture to culture and over time—

Sidanius refers to them as “arbitrary set” prejudices. In Sri Lanka, it may be Tamils; in Northern Ireland, Catholics or Protestants; in India, the Untouchables.”⁴

Among Latter-day Saints, we classify ourselves as members and non-members. Members of the Church typically reach out to members in need and show more kindness. Non-members (the out-group) are less privileged, especially in highly populated LDS communities. This division can even be found amidst the members of the Church.

Years ago, a new family moved into a small town in Southern Utah, where the father began his new job. The family went to the local schools, attended church, and were respectable God-fearing people. While this family was treated with civility, and were never the target of crimes or hateful words, they weren’t accepted by the community. This family was the only African-American family in town. Though the town’s citizens never subjected the family hateful acts, they were excluded, never being invited to any community activities and even some church activities. These people were American citizens, participated in Church, and lived the Gospel, yet still not accepted by the community of mostly Latter-day Saints. Race became both an ingroup and an outgroup, and most significantly, a barrier to charity.

In high school, I had a very good friend who I spent most of my time with during my junior and senior years. She was very respectful of my beliefs and out of this respect, decided to change the way that she dressed, spoke, and acted around me. One of her best friends gave her a difficult time and encouraged her to go back to (what I considered) wearing immodest clothing, swearing, and partying. I was not accepting of her friend. I thought less of this girl and even tried to avoid her and get my friend to do the same. Their friendship was damaged because of my actions, and this girl developed a bad view of the Church that I hold dear to my heart. I had an opportunity to explain my beliefs and to be a good example, but instead I was unaccepting of someone with different beliefs than mine. Clashing standards became a barrier to charity.

While it can often be difficult to accept others who share different beliefs, we are taught to be unwavering in our faith and to “love [our] neighbor as [our]self.” (Matt. 22:39) President Monson taught, “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.”⁵ Leaders of the Church, especially Jesus Christ, teach us through example how to be charitable and loving towards our fellow man. President Benson taught, “I have in my heart a love for all of God’s children. I have no ill feeling toward any human being. With you, I hate sin, but I love the sinner. We all have need to repent.”⁶ Regardless of the color of a person’s skin, a person’s beliefs, a person’s standards, or a person’s culture, we are all children of our Heavenly Father who loves us. Through my high school experiences, I have come to understand the importance of showing Christ-like love. I have apologized to my friend and seek to be an example of Christ. Christ showed His love for mankind through the way He lived His life; He “went about doing good”(Matt. 4:23). The biggest example of Christ’s charity was manifest through His Atonement. Even as the Jews were crying out to crucify Him, Jesus Christ was in the very act of saving them, along with all of mankind.

Gaining Charity is a Process, so is Maintaining it

As mentioned earlier, charity is not a thought or an action; it is a gift from God bestowed on those who are true followers of Jesus Christ. When we seek to obtain the gift of charity, we strive to follow all of God’s commandments and do what we can to serve others in our sphere of influence. As we continue to serve those around us, our love for them will grow, and we will gain an interest in their lives and happiness.

Gaining charity is, however, an uphill battle. It often requires a mix of service, prayer, fasting, and strong faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement. It can be developed as we look for opportunities to serve others and give of ourselves freely and selflessly. It can be developed as we petition God in prayer each day. It can be developed as we fast for the grace to act in charity to someone who may be antagonistic towards our faith. It can be developed as we nurture a firm belief in Jesus Christ as the Savior, knowing His perfect love for us will help us develop the same selfless love for others.

Charity, or the pure love of Christ, is a circular love. When we focus our attention on serving the Lord, we can maintain the cycle. When we strive to love others, we will become more like our Heavenly Father; when we strive to become like God, we will be strengthened in our love of others. In the book of 1 John we are taught, “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” (1 John 4:8) Praying fervently, studying the scriptures daily, and following the promptings we receive will help us continue this cycle of charity. Jesus Christ expanded on this doctrine of charity saying, “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matt. 25:40). Even through simple acts of kindness, smiling at someone, or giving a compliment, we are following the example of the Savior and acting as He would.

There are many ways that we can better live the commandment to love one another. Elder Oaks has taught us the importance of raising our children with love and respect for others of different faiths:

“I begin with what our young children learn in their play activities. Too often non-Mormons here in Utah have been offended and alienated by some of our members who will not allow their children to be friends with children of other faiths. Surely we can teach our children values and standards of behavior without having them distance themselves or show disrespect to any who are different.”⁷

The most important place that we can set an example of charity is within our own homes. Differences of opinion will always be present even in our families. Some will be relatively insignificant and others will be of a more important nature. Sometimes there will be a conflict between showing love and keeping the commandments of the Lord. It is important to be firm in the truth while continuing to show love and respect.

The gift of charity comes one step at a time. This gift grows when we do our best to show love for those around us, when we offer service and extend a helping hand, when we pray for those in need, and when we exercise our faith in Christ. Other times we go down the wrong path, and the gift of charity is weakened in our own lives. The Atonement of Jesus Christ has been provided for us so that when we make mistakes, it allows for us to get back on the right path. Through repentance, we can receive forgiveness of our sins. Repentance is more than an acknowledgement of our wrongdoings; it is turning away from sin and growing closer to God. When we have bad feelings towards other individuals or treat them poorly, we are able to repent and strive to gain love for them.

It can often be easier to have charity and love for those similar to us. I have close friends who share my same faith, religious beliefs, and standards, and it has not been difficult to have love for them. When we come into contact with those who have different beliefs – and may even be antagonistic towards our own beliefs – we can still be charitable and avoid contention. When we pray for the grace of God to help us, the Lord will grant us strength of character to be immovable in what we know to be right, while being charitable to those who hold different beliefs. He will also bless us to make stands and communicate in a way that is not contentious but respectful, yet full of conviction. Although it can be difficult to stand up for our beliefs, the New Testament teaches, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”(Phil. 4:13). Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is key as we strive to exercise charity towards are fellow men. When we share our beliefs and respect the beliefs of others, we will be blessed with love for others.

Conclusion

Charity is a Christ-like attribute. When one has charity, he or she will “avoid negative feelings such as anger, envy, lust, or covetousness.”⁸ Charity provides a way to be understanding of others and their points of view regardless of their differences. This love will help us develop a more Christ-like life and avoid judging and criticizing others. Making quick judgments rob us of the opportunity to show the pure love of Christ.

The Lord has provided a way for all of us to have charity, even in a world where hate, animosity, and fear are abundant. The example of Jesus Christ is the path given to us in order to develop pure love for others. This principle of the Gospel is illustrated simply in a children’s hymn, “Jesus said love everyone; Treat them kindly, too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love you.”⁹ The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stands as an ensign to the nations and a light unto the world. I believe that members of the Church who have charity radiate with the light and love of Christ.

Having charity should be a primary goal among Latter-day Saints. With all of the different views and perspectives on life inside and outside of the Church on gay marriage, drinking, drugs, women’s roles, abortion, and many other topics, there is no other time where charity is more important. Elder Oaks recently taught that, “We should love all people, be good listeners, and show concern for their sincere beliefs. Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable. Our stands and communications on controversial topics should not be contentious.”¹⁰ Regardless of the outcomes of these social and religious issues, let us follow the example of the Savior and have charity and love for all mankind. We do this by truly understanding what charity is, by understanding we can bridge differences, even if at first it is uncomfortable to us, and by understanding that daily actions of kindness and love are the key to the process of gaining and maintaining charity.

Works Cited:

1. Ashton, Marvin J. “The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword,” Ensign, May 1992, 19.

2. Monson, Thomas S. “The Gifts of Christmas,” Ensign, December 2003, 2.

3. Culotta, Elizabeth. “Roots of Racism,” Science Magazine, May 2012, 826.

4. "Charity, the Pure Love of Christ." Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith. Salt Lake City, Utah: Intellectual Reserve, 2007. 428-429. Print.

5. Monson, Thomas S. “Finding Joy in the Journey,” Ensign, November 2008, 86.

6. "Living Joyfully in Troubled Times." Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Ezra Taft Benson. Salt Lake City, Utah: Intellectual Reserve, 2011. 75. Print.

7. Oaks, Dallin H. "Loving Others and Living with Differences." LDS.org. Intellectual Reserve, 1 Oct. 2014. Web.

8. Preach My Gospel. Salt Lake City: Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2004. Web.

9. Renstrom, Moiselle. “Jesus Said Love Everyone.” Children’s Songbook. Salt Lake City, Utah. Intellectual Reserve, 1989. 61. Print.

10. Oaks, Dallin H. "Loving Others and Living with Differences." LDS.org. Intellectual Reserve, 1 Oct. 2014. Web.

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