Several
years ago, as a high school student in Seattle, I was one of 11 members of the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was often invited to parties in environments where I did not feel
comfortable, and typically, I avoided these situations. Being born of goodly
parents, I was taught to avoid sex, alcohol, drugs, and other immoral acts that
were so common among my peers. It was easy to think less of people who did not
live up to the same standards that I decided to live. Often those who lived
different standards treated me like a lesser person and thought I was wasting
my life by not going out and having fun while drinking and partying like the
other students. I felt a little bit of a rift growing between my peers and me; even
some of those who were my close friends were drifting further away. It was
difficult to feel charity and love for people who were so different from me,
especially those who treated me poorly.
As Christians, we have
been counseled to “love one another; as [Christ has] loved [us]” (John 13:34). Along
with other commandments from God, the commandment to have charity towards
others can be difficult to follow, especially for those who dislike us
individually or dislike the Church as a whole. Members of the Church have dealt
with persecution at different levels in all dispensations and have been given a
charge to do what is right no matter how difficult the circumstance. As
Latter-day Saints, we have knowledge about the true and everlasting Gospel of
Jesus Christ, with a covenant responsibility to follow the Savior’s example.
Learning
from my own experiences as a member of the Church, and by observing the experiences
of others, I have found that there are three difficulties we face in developing
charity for others. First, we don’t truly understand the meanings of charity and
how it is grown and shown; second, we don’t understand how to accept those with
different beliefs and standards; third,
we don’t understand that in cultivating charity, we must continually develop
and maintain this “pure love of Christ”
throughout our lives. Let us consider each of these difficulties.
What
is Charity? Grow it and Show it.
To
gain a knowledge of the meaning of the word charity, I find it helpful to
understand it’s opposite. The Book of Mormon Prophet Nephi taught, “It must
needs be that there was an opposition; even the forbidden fruit in opposition
to the tree of life; the one being sweet and the other bitter”(2 Nephi 2:15). From
the studies in the scriptures, we know that charity does not envy, it is not
puffed up, it is not selfish and not easily provoked, and it does not think or
rejoice in evil, and it will never fail (1 Cor. 13:4). This
scripture shows that charity is more than our thoughts and actions; it is a
deep-down characteristic of our souls. When we have charity, we are willing and
ready to serve, to be patient, and to be compassionate and understanding to
others. Charity encourages people to
live together in love, not necessarily expecting the same in return, and makes
the world a better place for us all.
Marvin J. Ashton taught:
“Charity is accepting someone’s
differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has
let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t
handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage
of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us.
Charity is expecting the best of each other.”1
We
understand that charity is pure and selfless by nature, yet charity can be difficult
to describe. In order for us to understand charity clearly, it must be felt and
experienced. The Apostle Paul taught that if we have charity, the pure love of
Christ, we will have good feelings towards all people. The Savior Jesus Christ
is the perfect example of one who has charity for all mankind. Jesus Christ
even loved those who committed horrendous sins, and condemned him to a brutal
death. He forgave those who drove the nails through His hands and feet. Despite
everything He suffered, He atoned for the sins of all mankind. He did not view
His acts of service and kindness as a duty, but rather as a deep feeling of
love for those He encountered. He always saw potential in others and did
everything He could to make their lives better. Following the Savior’s example
should be our goal as we work to show charity to others. When we are faced with
decisions and choose to act in the way we believe Christ would act, we are
being charitable. Striving to follow the example of Jesus Christ is the best
way to develop charity. In order to do this, we need the guidance of the Holy
Ghost. As we have the Spirit guiding us in our lives, we are able to gain a
testimony of the love that Christ has for us. When we feel the Savior’s love,
we begin to more fully understand our worth and potential in the eyes of God
and also the worth and potential of all God’s children. We begin to see others
differently through the eyes of charity.
Jesus
Christ’s perfect example of love and charity can be best observed from His life
and how He treated others. He did not limit His service to others based on
their wealth, their relationship with Him, or even their righteousness. His
pure love is illustrated many times throughout His ministry. While Christ was
teaching people in the temple, the scribes and Pharisees brought a woman unto
Him who had been taken in adultery. Those who had brought her thought that she
should be stoned according to the law. In response, Jesus taught:
“He that is without sin among you,
let him first cast a stone at her… And they which heard it, being convicted by
their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto
the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When
Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her,
Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No
man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no
more” (John 8:7-12).
The Savior rescued this woman from
humiliation and almost certain death. He did not condemn her for the act she
committed but did warn her to not sin again. This example shows charity without
agreeing with the actions of the woman and while encouraging her, and us, to do
better, to live a higher law.
Through the scriptures,
the Lord also teaches us that we have a responsibly to serve with charity those
who are in need, and he offers a warning against unrighteous judgment in
choosing whom to serve. “Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon
himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him
of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his
punishments are just – But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same
hath great cause to repent” (Mosiah 4:17-18).
The Gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us to treat
everyone equally, regardless of our differences in belief, race, financial
standing, education, and culture. We must learn to feel towards others as the
Savior feels towards all of us.
I
learned through experience, and through great teachers, that charity is a gift
from God that He will grant unto His children who seek it. The Prophet Mormon
taught, “Pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be
filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers
of his Son, Jesus Christ” (Moroni 7:48). How inspiring is that? Similar to a
missionary learning a new language or someone praying to gain a testimony of
the Gospel, individuals can develop charity and love through the powerful tool
of prayer. Each day we have the chance to pray for the gift of charity to grace
our lives.
One
man I know set a strong example for me as someone who has charity. He grew up
in a traditional Catholic family and married the daughter of a local Mormon
bishop. He has met with the missionaries for about 20 years and read through The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of
Jesus Christ multiple times. He is very open about his testimony of Jesus
Christ and true to what he feels to be right. He believes that he has not yet
retained a witness that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is
true, but he continues to learn and study because of his love for his family.
In 2011, construction began of a new Latter-day Saint chapel that would house
their ward. This man usually worked overtime to provide for his family, but he
made time daily to help with the construction of the chapel during the year
that it was built. Through his service, he has developed meaningful relationships
and charity for members of the local ward. He serves them and is a true
disciple of Jesus Christ.
As
the pure love of Christ grows within us, as it did with this man, we begin to
realize there are many opportunities in one’s life to exercise charity.
President Monson taught, “Our opportunities to give of ourselves are indeed
limitless, but they are also perishable. There are hearts to gladden. There are
kind words to say. There are gifts to be given. There are deeds to be done.
There are souls to be saved.”2 We can compare these limitless
opportunities to airplane travel. Planes have a high seating capacity and can
take many passengers at once over great distances in a short amount of time.
They can be the means of providing convenience and help to the passengers on
board. The services provided through planes are also perishable. If the plane
has empty seats on a flight, they go to waste. Passengers who could have been
taken to their desired locations now have to wait for a new plane. Life is
similar. We can use or waste chances to show charity. If we wait too long or
fail to follow the promptings of the Spirit, we, too, can miss an opportunity
to exercise charity for someone who needed it.
Going
to high school in Seattle, I experienced times where it was difficult to have
charity toward others.
As mentioned previously, it can sometimes be easy to think less of people who
do not share the same standards. I worked hard my whole life to follow the
example of Jesus Christ, and I didn’t understand why this wasn’t important to
others. At times I was more concerned with what others were doing than whether
I was acting with charity. I missed opportunities to show concern and love for
others in need. While I will not be able to get those opportunities back, my
mistakes have taught me the importance of having charity. Joseph Smith taught,
“The nearer we get to our heavenly Father, the more we are disposed to look
with compassion on perishing souls; we feel that we want to take them upon our
shoulders, and cast their sins behind our backs.”3 Simply knowing the principles of the Gospel is
not enough. We must focus on following the example of the Savior so we will not
condemn others based on their actions. Instead we will focus on living His
teachings and helping others to understand the blessings of following Christ. We
will “remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (D&C 18:10).
How
do we learn to Accept People who are Different?
Each one of us has grown up under different
circumstances and in different environments. Even as members of the Church, we
have a wide range of differences and opinions. Those outside of our faith have
an even wider variety of opinions and circumstances. Such varying worldviews
can make it difficult to see similarities in each other and can create barriers
to accepting those who are different than us, whether through belief,
standards, race, religion, culture, or any other attributes.
Humans tend to group themselves
based on beliefs, needs, and race almost automatically. This creates a system
of ingroups and outgroups. A recent peer reviewed article in Science Magazine gave good examples:
“The
targets of outgroup prejudice vary from culture to culture and over time—
Sidanius refers to them as “arbitrary set”
prejudices. In Sri Lanka, it may be Tamils; in Northern Ireland, Catholics or
Protestants; in India, the Untouchables.”4
Among
Latter-day Saints, we classify ourselves as members and non-members. Members of
the Church typically reach out to members in need and show more kindness. Non-members
(the out-group) are less privileged, especially in highly populated LDS
communities. This division can even be found amidst the members of the Church.
Years
ago, a new family moved into a small town in Southern Utah, where the father
began his new job. The family went to the local schools, attended church, and
were respectable God-fearing people. While this family was treated with
civility, and were never the target of crimes or hateful words, they weren’t
accepted by the community. This family was the only African-American family in
town. Though the town’s citizens never subjected the family hateful acts, they were
excluded, never being invited to any community activities and even some church
activities. These people were American citizens, participated in Church, and
lived the Gospel, yet still not accepted by the community of mostly Latter-day
Saints. Race became both an ingroup and an outgroup, and most significantly, a
barrier to charity.
In high school, I had a very good friend who I
spent most of my time with during my junior and senior years. She was very
respectful of my beliefs and out of this respect, decided to change the way
that she dressed, spoke, and acted around me. One of her best friends gave her
a difficult time and encouraged her to go back to (what I considered) wearing
immodest clothing, swearing, and partying. I was not accepting of her friend. I
thought less of this girl and even tried to avoid her and get my friend to do
the same. Their friendship was damaged because of my actions, and this girl developed
a bad view of the Church that I hold dear to my heart. I had an opportunity to
explain my beliefs and to be a good example, but instead I was unaccepting of
someone with different beliefs than mine. Clashing standards became a barrier
to charity.
While
it can often be difficult to accept others who share different beliefs, we are
taught to be unwavering in our faith and to “love [our] neighbor as [our]self.”
(Matt. 22:39) President Monson taught, “Never let a problem to be solved become
more important than a person to be loved.”5 Leaders of the Church,
especially Jesus Christ, teach us through example how to be charitable and
loving towards our fellow man. President Benson taught, “I have in my heart a
love for all of God’s children. I have no ill feeling toward any human being.
With you, I hate sin, but I love the sinner. We all have need to repent.”6
Regardless of the color of a person’s skin, a person’s beliefs, a person’s
standards, or a person’s culture, we are all children of our Heavenly Father
who loves us.
Through my high school experiences, I have come to understand the importance of
showing Christ-like love. I have apologized to my friend and seek to be an
example of Christ. Christ showed His love for mankind through the way He lived
His life; He “went about doing good” (Matt. 4:23). The biggest
example of Christ’s charity was manifest through His Atonement. Even as the
Jews were crying out to crucify Him, Jesus Christ was in the very act of saving
them, along with all of mankind.
Gaining
Charity is a Process, so is Maintaining it
As mentioned earlier, charity is not a thought or
an action; it is a gift from God bestowed on those who are true followers of
Jesus Christ. When we seek to obtain the gift of charity, we strive to follow
all of God’s commandments and do what we can to serve others in our sphere of
influence. As we continue to serve those around us, our love for them will
grow, and we will gain an interest in their lives and happiness.
Gaining
charity is, however, an uphill battle. It often requires a mix of service,
prayer, fasting, and strong faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement.
It can be developed as we look for opportunities to serve others and give of
ourselves freely and selflessly. It can be developed as we petition God in
prayer each day. It can be developed as we fast for the grace to act in charity
to someone who may be antagonistic towards our faith. It can be developed as we
nurture a firm belief in Jesus Christ as the Savior, knowing His perfect love
for us will help us develop the same selfless love for others.
Charity, or the pure love
of Christ, is a circular love. When we focus our attention on serving the Lord,
we can maintain the cycle. When we strive to love others, we will become more
like our Heavenly Father; when we strive to become like God, we will be
strengthened in our love of others. In the book of 1 John we are taught, “He
that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” (1 John 4:8) Praying
fervently, studying the scriptures daily, and following the promptings we
receive will help us continue this cycle of charity. Jesus Christ expanded on
this doctrine of charity saying, “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have
done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me”
(Matt. 25:40). Even through simple acts of kindness, smiling at someone, or
giving a compliment, we are following the example of the Savior and acting as
He would.
There
are many ways that we can better live the commandment to love one another.
Elder Oaks has taught us the importance of raising our children with love and
respect for others of different faiths:
“I begin with what
our young children learn in their play activities. Too often non-Mormons here
in Utah have been offended and alienated by some of our members who will not
allow their children to be friends with children of other faiths. Surely we can
teach our children values and standards of behavior without having them
distance themselves or show disrespect to any who are different.”7
The most important place
that we can set an example of charity is within our own homes. Differences of
opinion will always be present even in our families. Some will be relatively
insignificant and others will be of a more important nature. Sometimes there
will be a conflict between showing love and keeping the commandments of the
Lord. It is important to be firm in the truth while continuing to show love and
respect.
The
gift of charity comes one step at a time. This gift grows when we do our best
to show love for those around us, when we offer service and extend a helping
hand, when we pray for those in need, and when we exercise our faith in Christ.
Other times we go down the wrong path, and the gift of charity is weakened in
our own lives. The Atonement of Jesus Christ has been provided for us so that
when we make mistakes, it allows for us to get back on the right path. Through
repentance, we can receive forgiveness of our sins. Repentance is more than an
acknowledgement of our wrongdoings; it is turning away from sin and growing
closer to God. When we have bad feelings towards other individuals or treat
them poorly, we are able to repent and strive to gain love for them.
It
can often be easier to have charity and love for those similar to us. I have
close friends who share my same faith, religious beliefs, and standards, and it
has not been difficult to have love for them. When we come into contact with
those who have different beliefs – and
may even be antagonistic towards our own beliefs – we can still be charitable
and avoid contention. When we pray for the grace of God to help us, the Lord
will grant us strength of character to be immovable in what we know to be right,
while being charitable to those who hold different beliefs. He will also bless
us to make stands and communicate in a way that is not contentious but
respectful, yet full of conviction. Although it can be difficult to stand up
for our beliefs, the New Testament teaches, “I can do all things through Christ
which strengtheneth me.” (Phil. 4:13). Faith in the Lord Jesus
Christ is key as we strive to exercise charity towards are fellow men. When we
share our beliefs and respect the beliefs of others, we will be blessed with
love for others.
Conclusion
Charity
is a Christ-like attribute. When one has charity, he or she will “avoid
negative feelings such as anger, envy, lust, or covetousness.”8
Charity provides a way to be understanding of others and their points of view
regardless of their differences. This love will help us develop a more
Christ-like life and avoid judging and criticizing others. Making quick
judgments rob us of the opportunity to show the pure love of Christ.
The
Lord has provided a way for all of us to have charity, even in a world where
hate, animosity, and fear are abundant. The example of Jesus Christ is the path
given to us in order to develop pure love for others. This principle of the
Gospel is illustrated simply in a children’s hymn, “Jesus said love everyone;
Treat them kindly, too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love
you.”9 The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stands as an
ensign to the nations and a light unto the world. I believe that members of the
Church who have charity radiate with the light and love of Christ.
Having charity should be a primary goal among Latter-day
Saints. With all of the different views and perspectives on life inside and
outside of the Church on gay marriage, drinking, drugs, women’s roles, abortion,
and many other topics, there is no other time where charity is more important. Elder
Oaks recently taught that, “We should love all people, be good listeners, and
show concern for their sincere beliefs. Though we may disagree, we should not
be disagreeable. Our stands and communications on controversial topics should
not be contentious.”10 Regardless of the outcomes of these social
and religious issues, let us follow the example of the Savior and have charity
and love for all mankind. We do this by truly understanding what charity
is, by understanding we can bridge differences, even if at first it is
uncomfortable to us, and by understanding that daily actions of kindness and
love are the key to the process of gaining and maintaining charity.
Works Cited:
1. Ashton, Marvin J. “The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword,” Ensign, May
1992, 19.
2.
Monson, Thomas S. “The Gifts
of Christmas,” Ensign, December 2003, 2.
3.
Culotta, Elizabeth. “Roots
of Racism,” Science Magazine, May 2012, 826.
4.
"Charity,
the Pure Love of Christ." Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph
Smith. Salt Lake City, Utah: Intellectual Reserve, 2007. 428-429. Print.
5.
Monson, Thomas S. “Finding Joy in the
Journey,” Ensign, November 2008, 86.
6.
"Living Joyfully in Troubled Times." Teachings of Presidents of the
Church: Ezra Taft Benson. Salt Lake City, Utah: Intellectual Reserve, 2011.
75. Print.
7.
Oaks,
Dallin H. "Loving Others and Living with Differences." LDS.org.
Intellectual Reserve, 1 Oct. 2014. Web.
8.
Preach My Gospel. Salt Lake City:
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2004. Web.
9.
Renstrom,
Moiselle. “Jesus Said Love Everyone.” Children’s
Songbook. Salt Lake City, Utah. Intellectual Reserve, 1989. 61. Print.
10. Oaks, Dallin H.
"Loving Others and Living with Differences." LDS.org. Intellectual
Reserve, 1 Oct. 2014. Web.
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